Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Does this even make sense?

Jenny Matlock

Never has a 100 words seemed as hard it did this week. Too much story and needed character background made this Centus pushing upwards of almost 200 words. With each painful delete not only did I feel the story losing its charm but also it's comprehension. With a lot of reworking it was finally widdled down to 100 with a small bit of everything I wanted say. But now I'm left saying, does this even make sense? Hopefully everything came through, but I'll let you be the judge. 

Below is my Centus this week. The prompt was: "This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet.

Same rules apply as usual. No pictures, no vulgarity, the prompt must be used as is, in it's entirety, and your story should not be over 100 words (excluding the word count of the prompt.)

I've titled my Centus, Best. Day. EVER. and the prompt is used in bold. 

Best. Day. EVER.
I sat silently below on the antique rug, teased by the steak precariously balancing on Eloise's rattling fork. Barbeque, sweating off. 

"Not experienced enough?!... I RAN the company before I got pregnant!" shouted Eloise.

"We have a certain image to uphold Sis, and well...look at you..." Emma scoffed walking into another part of her picture perfect house. 

Eloise defiantly dumped her plate, delivering me the steak!

Heaven sent, I devoured every bite, but the barbeque left a brown stain behind.

Eloise snickered. "This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet. Pushing it deeper. Sure, I'd be blamed for the stain, but for that moment, we were both happy. 




  1. Perfect little slice of life, very well written, I like this!
    and yes you got it, thanks for the comment :o)

  2. Snarky sisters make great fodder, don't they? Loved this as much as that pup loved the steak :) I know that there is a much bigger story behind this one, and I'd love to hear it!

  3. Oh a battle between two sisters. I would like to have seen the other 100 words. I loved that the dog was the recipient of Eloise's deed lol.

  4. so there's two sisters and a dog in here? I had to read a few times but then again my attention span seems to somewhere else

    it's a small glance, a moment in time, I do like the perspective of the dog, it makes an unsual viewpoint

  5. damn those bbq stains!

    I am the same with my writing sometimes. i get to 100 and its like aaaahhh I need more words haha


  6. I do want more - of your writing. I'm also wanting a steak with some juicy carpet staining sauce.
    I see that the apple does not fall far..You and your dad are great.
    I'm joining your following.

  7. Ah a true moment in time. well done!

  8. This is a great story. The prompt lends itself well to storys from the perspective of a pet. Nice work. But I wish it was just a wee bit clearer that it is written from the puppy's perspective.

    Best wishes,
    Anna's SC-Week-20
    Sara Cat's SC-Week-20

  9. I like the perspective of the words. I have that same thing happen to me sometimes. I 'got' what you are saying but there are just weeks when it seems harder then others.

    I'm glad you still did it, though.

    It was a different angle on the words.

  10. Ha! Being so emotionally bound to dogs, I could totally put myself in his place. Brilliant use of the prompt!

  11. I read this to my Boxer and Lhasa, and they both howled approval. They love a little steak stain on my good rugs!